But, what did He mean when He said that it is holy? I came home still thinking about the message from the Holy Spirit. I looked up the word "holy" to read the definition. I even searched that particular phrase on the internet. But, I had nothing. Before I went to bed last night, I said a prayer that the Holy Spirit would help me understand what He meant because, as I have recently learned in the Bible Study I am currently doing with some ladies at my house, the Holy Spirit is Truth. And, He is our Counselor. He doesn't only want us to KNOW truth, but He will lead us to UNDERSTAND truth as well. So, I prayed and then went to sleep.
This morning, as I was thinking about it again, the Holy Spirit helped me to unpack that little phrase. When Neal is out of town, one of my children's favorite things to do is to take a turn "spending the night" with Mom. It is a little tradition that we have, and they love it. This morning, as I was watching one of them sleep in our bed, I realized that I am never in a hurry to wake up my children when they have time to get enough sleep. I know they need a break from routines and life as much as I do. And, honestly, watching them sleep and waiting for them to wake up is still a joy for me, even when it is my junior high kiddo.
And, I think that is the moment when it hit me. Waiting is Holy when it is a shared experience. When you think about the times that you have spent holding a friend's hand as they waited for news with no idea of the outcome, or sitting beside someone in a waiting room as you both waited for word on a loved one's operation, or when you waited by your phone to hear that a friend's baby had arrived safely and mother and baby were both well...these are times in our lives that we would never consider to be a burden. We are never going to be sad or regret that we took the time out of our lives to sit expectantly with someone we love while they are waiting.
But, I think it is the fact that it is a shared experience that makes it holy. Just like you would never regret taking the time out of our busy life to sit with a loved one while they wait, that person will never, ever forget that you shared that moment with them. They will always remember that you were by their side. It does not mean that it was a GOOD time in their lives. Waiting is almost always hard. But, those people who wait WITH us, who encourage us, who hold our hand, who cry with us, who lift us up and pray for us...they will be dear to us forever. Because waiting is Holy when it is a shared experience.
We started this adoption process in 2011, in what was supposed to be a 12-month adoption process from Ethiopia. Almost 7 years later, I think Neal and I would both tell you that waiting hasn't gotten any easier. In fact, I think if we were being honest, we would say that the last year of this wait has been the hardest. But, what hit me last night is that even though the Holy Spirit doesn't enjoy our pain, or our frustration, or our suffering, He was telling me last night that these last 80 months He has never seen as a burden. He has sat with us and held our hands when we started this process for Ethiopia. He was with us when we pursued and lost a referral for twin baby boys from the Democratic Republic of the Congo. He was with us, when we moved to Alabama and heard that Haiti was now an option for us and gave us the gently nudge to start almost completely over. He was with us when we got the call last October to hear the name and see face of the boy (who I think I already knew in my heart) was going to be our son. And, he has been with us (three times now) as we have had to say goodbye to our son as we wait for the necessary paperwork to be done so he can come home. He has been there for every second of this experience, and He KNOWS the pain and frustration it has caused us. But, He doesn't see it as a burden. He sees it as Holy. Just like that friend who holds your hand while you wait for news or an operation or as you pray alongside of a friend while their marriage struggles or they wait for God to provide a job. We would NEVER view those times as a burden, and He doesn't either.
So, today, I have a new attitude about these final days of the wait. I know that my Guide, the Counselor, is teaching me something in these last weeks (or months) of waiting that He cannot teach me any other way. His plans are always higher than mine, and so I must trust that He means them for my good. He values this time with me, as much as I value sweet times with my children. So, instead of asking God to take the burden of waiting from me, instead, I am going to ask Him to help me wait WELL.
